How to Uninvite Someone From a Wedding

Updated October 4, 2021

No one wants to do it, and no one wants to have it done to them. But sometimes, you find yourself wondering how to uninvite guests from your wedding.

This is a taboo subject, but since the start of the pandemic, all cards are off the table. We’re here for all of our couples wanting to make this process a little easier by giving you a how-to guide on uninviting people to your wedding.

Why uninvite someone to your wedding?

At this point, the most common reasons for uninviting someone to a wedding are guest count restrictions, budget concerns or simply, a change of plans.

It’s not all bad news, though! LoveStream is a wedding live streaming service, designed specifically to ensure that nobody has to miss your wedding. Whether you are scaling way back or just cutting the list a little bit, we can help.

Whatever reason you have for being in this situation, we have some advice on how to handle it, tactfully, while sparing the feelings of those involved.

Step 1: Deciding who to uninvite.

If you are uninviting guests because your guest list is bigger than your venue’s current max capacity (whether that’s because the venue changed or restrictions changed), then you will need to let some guests know you can no longer accommodate them.

Know your max headcount.

Talk to your venue to figure out how many guests can be present at a time. At the beginning of the pandemic, it wasn’t uncommon for venues to cap headcount at 10, 25 or 50 people.

As we move forward, a lot of venues are allowing anywhere from 50% capacity to full capacity.

Whether your guest limit is 50 or 200, knowing this will allow you to determine who, if anyone, needs to be uninvited.

Start with an order of priority.

Okay, we know it’s weird to “rank” your loved ones based on how sad you’d be if they miss your wedding, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Create a list of “must-haves.” Who do you absolutely need to be there? Then, consider whether or not these people will be bringing a plus-one.

Create a list of uninvited.

Oof. Did you ever think you’d have to uninvite someone to your wedding? None of us did, and yet so many have.

The good news is, you’re uninviting them for a very good and legitimate reason. Not because of family drama or anything personal, but because plans have changed.

Step 2: Finalize the headcount.

Start at the top of your list. Call, text or email each person individually to ask if they are coming to your wedding. Wondering how to ask without sounding pushy? Try this:

Hi! I am reaching out to inquire about whether you’ll be able to come to our wedding on [date]. I know things have been wacky lately, and our feelings won’t be hurt if you are unable to attend (even if you have already sent an RSVP). We are trying to have a solid number of attendees to share with our venue.

If you are not able to attend, we would love to invite you to watch our wedding live stream virtually. Please let us know as soon as possible.

The above is direct and shows that you need an answer without making anyone feel pressured to come, and giving them an option to still participate via a wedding live stream so they won’t be sad about having to miss out.

Once you have your maximum headcount accounted for, move on to the next step.

Step 3: Do the uninviting

How to uninvite someone to your wedding.

There are a few ways to do this, and you might even want different tactics based on who you’re talking to. An aunt or uncle might prefer a phone call, whereas your friends from work or college will likely be fine with an email.

If calling your uninvited guest, be effective and efficient with your approach. You probably don’t want to lead with “You’re no longer invited to my wedding, sorry Great Uncle Alfred.”

But you also don’t want them to have the chance to say how excited they are about going to your wedding. Try asking how they are doing today, and quickly move on to, “The reason I called you is…”

Remind your guest that you care about them very much and would really love to have them there, but that due to unforeseen circumstances, you are no longer able to accommodate them at your venue.

Let them down gently, especially if you know they were excited to attend.

Uninviting guests for an elopement or microwedding.

If you and your partner have decided to forego the big event and are eloping or having a microwedding instead, it’s a little more acceptable to uninvite guests in bulk.

You’ll still want to personally contact your VIPs, but for friends, coworkers and the like, you can probably send out a generic email or text. Try the following:

Hey everyone,

We are writing to let you know that we’ve had a change of plans regarding our wedding. After a lot of thought, we have decided to significantly downsize our event and are opting to elope with a handful of our closest loved ones.

We are terribly sorry for any inconvenience, and request that you still help us celebrate virtually via our wedding live stream.

What is the etiquette with gifts?

The general rule is that anyone invited to a wedding gives a gift. But what if those uninvited have already sent a gift? MOST people are going to have you keep your gifts.

However, giving the impression that you don’t expect to keep the gift can help to soften the blow. If you have already received gifts from uninvited guests, let them know that you can return it to them.

If you have not received any gifts yet, let those uninvited know that, of course, they are no longer expected to give a gift (even though, again, most will because they still want to help you celebrate).

Invite guests to your wedding live stream.

Here’s the best part: just because they can’t be there in-person, doesn’t mean they can’t still help you celebrate. Having a hybrid wedding that incorporates both an in-person event and a wedding live stream allows more people to join you on your big day. Even if it’s from afar!

Book your LoveStream today!

How to Uninvite Guests to your Wedding