Modern Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Formal wedding invitation wording can feel a little stuffy.

“Mr. and Mrs. Philip Schuyler request the honor of your presence at the marriage ceremony of their daughter, Elizabeth Schuyler, to Alexander Hamilton, son of James A. Hamilton.”

You see what we mean?

In a time when people send memes of Guy Fieri in the family group chat, isn’t it odd that so many of us still use incredibly formal language on our wedding invitations?

There’s nothing wrong with the above example of traditional wording for a wedding invitation, and many people still use something similar on their own invites. But as times change, so does “proper etiquette” for situations like these!

Below, we’ll detail some more modern invitation etiquette and how to incorporate tradition while still feeling true to yourself.

Who is Doing the Inviting?

In the example above, the brides’ parents are the ones requesting that the guests attend. This stems from the time when it was expected that the brides’ parents would plan and pay for the wedding. But obviously, that’s not always the case now. Even when parents do foot the bill, they aren’t always involved in the planning.

You and your fiancé put a lot of effort into this event! If the keepers of the budget won’t be terribly offended, don’t feel pressured to put the names of your parents on the invites.

To keep things feeling formal, you can say something like, “Elizabeth Schuyler and Alexander Hamilton invite you to join them at their wedding.” Another option would be, “Please join us for the wedding of Elizabeth Schuyler and Alexander Hamilton,” which adds a little ambiguity to who is hosting the event.

Kids or No Kids

For someone with children, printing “Adults Only” on a wedding invitation might be read as “We don’t want your bratty kids to ruin our night,” even if that is the last thing from your intention.

We recommend addressing the envelope to the adults who are invited. To make it even more clear, on the response card, write the names of those invited rather than allowing them to write in their own names. 

You can also include this type of information on your wedding website, where it’s a little less taboo to be explicit about whether or not children are allowed at the event.

Keep Things Relaxed

Finally, if you want to stray from traditional wording entirely, feel free to keep things relaxed or even go so far as to make your invitations funny. Whatever feels most true to you!

Try something like “Elizabeth and Alex are getting married, and you’re invited!” or “Free food and booze, available exclusively at our wedding.”

And of course, you can always send out virtual wedding invitations – we have wording options for those too!

photo credit: Liz Cowie Photography